Friday, November 11, 2016

Sci Fi Speed Dating

Oh man... my life is full of a LOT of firsts lately. So today was the first day of ComicCon and I went with 2 friends. As we're walking around we pass the sign up table for Sci Fi Speed Dating. Now I saw them there last year, but I was with the Ex and so we just laughed it off. This year however I'm a single lady... and my friends thought it would be a brilliant idea for me to sign up. You better believe I dragged them along. We figured since it's free for ladies what the hell? We'll get a few laughs, have some awkward moments, and who knows, maybe we'd meet some decent guys. So we sign up and get told to be back promptly at 6:00pm. Well wouldn't you know that as we're walking around I run into an old boss of mine who I was very close with and 2 of her friends and they're all single. I figured the more the merrier and convinced them to sign up too.

So we go off exploring all the nerdy wonders of ComicCon while killing time and then realize we have 5 minutes to be there. We managed to work our way through the crowd and get there just in the nick of time. Let's just say my old boss was not super amused, "If you got us to sign up and then didn't show up I was going to kill you." We all just kind of laughed and then met the jedi who runs the whole thing and brought us down the hall. About 20 women shuffled into the ballroom where we were given the rundown. The guy who runs it is hysterically funny and he really does care about the safety and comfort of the women who attend.  He explained that he developed 2 very subtle signals in case we feel uncomfortable in any way, one to say this is weird, but I can wait until the date is over and one that is get me the hell out of here. He also keeps an eye out to watch for subtle signs of the women getting uncomfortable and if he sees something, he'll switch the rotation early. He explained he was going to bring in the guys and give them a whole spiel before we started. Dates would be 3 minutes long and everyone gets an index card and a pen as well as a numbered badge, the whole thing is totally anonymous and they can't ask for your name or your number. If they like you or you like them you simply write down their badge number for the end.

There were twice as many men as women and so all us ladies skipped one chair in between us and the men would alternate between talking to a woman and waiting for a turn. My friends and I scoped out the room and decided there were a few guys who weren't too bad looking and hopefully they'd come around quickly. One of the last (and best) things our jedi dating master said before we started? "Guys, if you're just here to get laid, you can leave right now... And ladies, if you're here just to get laid, well... you can take your pick." And we were off.

My starting partner was a gorilla... and no, I don't mean that in an insulting way, I mean he was literally dressed in a gorilla suit. It was an awkward 3 minutes, but I tried to just be polite. A few more guys came through the rotation and then Q was across from me. I call him Q because as you'll find out later, that's his name on Snapchat. He was fairly drunk, but seemingly normal. He was that special kind of confident that only comes out when men have been drinking, but overall harmless. It was a pleasant enough 3 minutes, but we'll get back to him later on. Several more guys in various states of nervousness came by including one gentlemen who was twice my age and just kind of shy, but very polite and another who could have been someone's odd grandpa. Honestly, I described him as reminding me of Rumplestiltskin on Once Upon a Time only older and creepier and my friends agreed. There was one poor soul who was probably no more than 20 and literally was shaking with anxiety every time I spoke to him. I told him I didn't bite... hard. I don't think it helped. Finally we get through the dates (we only met about 1/3 of the guys otherwise we would have been there 2 hours) and it was about time, because I can only be polite for so long when I don't mean it.

We get told that now we're going into Phase 2. What is this mysterious Phase 2 you ask? All the women go to one side of the room and all the men go to the other side. We grab a blank piece of paper and about 2 inches big write our badge number down. Next we swap sides. Here's where it got interesting. If you hadn't written down someone's badge number you would find it on the table and you could write down your information and if they were interested, they could get in touch. Guess who was a mean bitch and didn't write any numbers down? So my friends and I pretended for a minute to be looking for a page and then went back to our seats. We wrapped up and were dismissed and told to grab our pages on the way out.

My friends and I as well as my old boss and her friends congregated outside swapping notes like a giggling gaggle of girls. We compared each others lists to see who had the most success. Some had 5 numbers or 7, all their numbers were pretty similar. I scanned my list, counting in my head... 15. Fifteen men had found me interesting, pretty, whatever enough to write down my number. I quickly thought back and realized that it must have been every single one I met with. I have never had such an ego boost in my life. Me? The girl who was bullied for so many reasons that affected my self esteem. Me? The girl who had been cheated on more times than she'd like to admit. Me? The recently dumped. Here it was different. Here I was a goddess on high to these men. I never felt better about myself and it gave me such a confidence boost. I could do this. I can date. I can find men who will fall at my feet. I know, I know, now I'm starting to sound a bit pretentious, but damn it felt good.

One of my friends we realized had a weird drawing on her page. It looked like a giant flower with a plane that looked like a cross between a phaser and a penis... None of us could figure it out, but it was next to a particular name... Q. And look who was right next to us buying some more liquid courage at the bar. We all giggled trying to figure out who would go over to him and ask him about it. I decided what the hell and went marching over. "Excuse me," I said as sweetly as possible, "but my friends and I were wondering about your drawing." So he takes the paper and does the drunk back and forth with his arm trying to figure it out himself. Finally he says "I think it was the beach..." So I point to the flying phallic object and ask, "so what's this?" He just started laughing and said, "Oh... that's someone else's, I didn't draw that." I swapped snapchat info with him and said goodbye heading back to my giggling group to report back. Let's just say Phaser Penis became a pretty key part of the weekend.

Overall it wasn't as bad as we imagined it would be and we had some good laughs about it. And if I'm ever feeling down about myself I can just look at a sheet with the numbers of 15 desperate souls and feel damn good again.

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