Sunday, November 20, 2016

My Date with The Italian

So as you know this was the date I was looking forward to the most so far. He's sweet, intelligent and shares my ridiculous sense of humor. We had plans for dinner at a Mexican place in Newport (guac is the way to my heart) and I got myself all dolled up... I didn't know it was going to drizzle.
Dear Mother Nature,
Piss off. I finally felt well enough to go on a date and you fucked up my hair. Thanks a lot.

Date prep included taking an allergy pill while washing it down with Delsym and tons of allergy eye drops before putting in my contacts. Got my hair done by the girl at work. Put on some lingerie (hey you never know!) and half my arsenal of makeup. All of this made me look like a reasonably healthy person, so mission accomplished.

After searching for parking and finally finding the restaurant I met him at the door, we actually walked up at pretty much the same time. Quick hug and kiss on the cheek and we went in.

He hadn't made reservations...

Okay... strike one. I know this might sound silly, but that's kind of a basic date prep step. It's an hour and a half wait...But alright, no worries, let's see how he handles it.

So he asks me what I want to do, do I want to walk around and see what else there might be? So I said sure and we strolled through Newport (in a drizzle) getting to know one another. Finally I said, "Do you want to go get a drink?" and we found a bar and headed into the warmth.

I got one drink and was tipsy as fuck... Granted it had like 4 kinds of booze in it, but still! I swear something happens in your mid twenties where if you don't keep up with it, your tolerance goes waaaay down.

So the restaurant texts us and says our table is ready and I guzzle down the rest of my drink. Let's just think this through for a sec, shall we?
- One strong as fuck drink
- One now tipsy girl
- 4 inch heels on said girl
- A mix of sidewalk and cobblestone

Well this is going to be cute...

So I hop off my chair, at a high top table nonetheless, and quickly realize this is going to take a lot of effort to make it back to the restaurant. Well this sweet (and sauve) gentleman puts his arm around me and holds me to make sure I'm okay. I quickly explain that this is not par for the course for me and I hope he doesn't hold it against me. (In the back of my mind I'm thinking, Oh yeah, because he is definitely going to hold it against you that you gave him a reason to touch you.)

So we finally get to the restaurant after many giggles and more chatting and as we sit down I realize: even though I haven't eaten, I'm suddenly not hungry. So we order the guacamole that he's told me so much about. He ends up trying to feed me which is kind of cute (albeit a little odd for a first date) until you really think about it. Chips and guac is not easy to feed to someone. It's not like a seductive bite off someone's fork, this is a chip. Chips break apart... so I sort of had to help hold the chip so it wouldn't break and land with guac on my dress. His intentions were sweet.

So we've been out for a couple of hours, we've done some hand holding, and he's brushed his hand on my thigh a few times. We're sitting pretty close together, I'm ever so slightly leaned in, I'm giving him the look and... nothing is happening. We start talking again. Okay reset, let's try again... nope still nothing. This goes on for probably an hour.

And then he finally kissed me...

Whelp... that was disappointing.

He checks lots of my boxes, but kissing is pretty much my favorite part, and this was... bad.

So lemme give you the break down of how a first kiss should go, just in case you don't know.
You both lean in ever so slightly, each one moving just the tiniest bit closer.
Your lips sort of brush together in a soft way a few times.
Then as you start to get a feel for one another, your lips part and maybe if you start to get adventurous you might start using some tongue.

What you don't do is swallow the other person whole...

I'm gonna chalk it up to nerves... for now. He went in open mouthed and way too wide and a bit aggressive for my liking. I tried a few pullbacks to give him the hint, but nope. And then... oh the nail in the coffin... smile "That was nice..." No. No commentary. Just no. Shut up and let your mouth do the talking... no wait that doesn't work either. You know what I mean.

So the date comes to a close, we plan a second date (he's a great guy so he gets a chance to make up for bad kissing) and he walks me to my car. We do the goodnight kiss and it's slightly better. This time hands get involved and he pulls me in close to him... okay NOW we're getting somewhere. Still not the best kiss, but better than before.

Side note: Worst kiss I ever had was from a very short term boyfriend. I nicknamed him The Dentist... he licked my teeth during it... It was like 14 years ago and I still cringe.

Overall I really liked him and so he's getting another chance, next Friday night.

I'll keep you posted.

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